The Tanktop Pact: Swear Your Loyalty in Threadbare Cotton

Sweat is currency.
Threads are scripture.
When the spine can’t take it, the shoulder must speak.

It’s time to swear in, not with words—with what clings to your ribs.

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What Is the Tanktop Pact?

It’s a commitment ritual.
It’s a uniform.
It’s a second skin that never lies.

Initiates must wear the same tank top for 11 days.
No washing.
No removal.
It must absorb every moment of your doubt.

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Initiation Ceremony

On the twelfth day, at dawn:

1. Each initiate stands barefoot on the hot tub lid.
2. They recite their chosen Statham monologue (Death Race and Crank 2 are preferred).
3. They rip the tank top down the center—not fully, just enough to show chestbone.
4. The remaining threads are dipped in egg whites and stapled to the Jackson House rafters.
5. Initiates are given a new tank, but must carry the old one in their backpack for eternity or until they complete a clean suplex on uneven ground.

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Pact Rules

• Tank tops must be black or military gray. No logos.
• Sweat stains must be earned—not fabricated with water.
• Anyone found sleeping shirtless without tanktop clearance will face the “Drift Reversal Drill.” (Details redacted for safety.)

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Testimony from Initiate u/diesel_spit36

“My tank top ripped on Day 7 during burpees on the porch. I tried to hide the tear. Opal saw. She handed me a needle, stared at me until I sewed it back shut with a shoelace. That night, I dreamed I was bench pressing Him.”